My HeArT StoPpEd BeAtiNg...

hey ya'll....

just wanna share bout my love life that's completely gone out of control...

just this june... i met this guy named ***... I was curious about him because my sister told me that he looked just like FRANK of My Chemical Romance... well... as everyone knows... im one hell of an MCR fan!!! well... going back... he really looked so much like frank!!! so... time passed... well... days passed and we becaume really close... we text and call each other... we even meet during breaks and stuff... we are both freshmen accountancy students... by 14th of august around 11:00pm... we we're talking about our love, likes and favorites.... i told him that I love MCR, Tokio Hotel, sweet people, my family, friends... etc etc... then he replied... "what about me?? do you like, lov or love me???".... i told him "loove".... .... then he replied... "so you dont LOVE me??".... i told him "no!!! LOVE"... so then he asked if i could be his girl friend... i wanted to say yes... but i told him that if he could just ask me next week or so... because im still not ready and that i have to take care of my other suitors... ahihihihih... plus... is was almost 12mn and it means that it will be august 15... my past monthsarry with my ex-bf was 15... so i just freaked out... ahihihihih....

but he never asked again...

then... on sept. 7... we were texting... i asked him what he don't like on a girl... he told me that he will tell me about it pretty soon... or maybe even never... because he knew that i would get hurt of mad...

the following day which is september 8... we we're together at school... we had a fight... so... we were just sitting at the canteen for 2 hours without saying or doing anything... it was about the thing that he doesn't like on a girl... he can't stand a girl with many guy frineds... well.. i one of them.... i have dozens and dozens of guy frineds................................................. i love him so much... truly i do... and i was so afraid to lose him.. so i agreed with him in the end...

sept 10... we spent time together for 1 hour in the school cafeteria because i will be leaving for 2 days for our class retreat.... I MISZED HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

sept. 14.... THE END..... i talked to him about the thing that we agreed upon last sept 8... i admit to him that i just can't leave my frineds... things went pretty sour and horribly bad... he asked me for 3 times if i just can't leave my guy friends... because he just don't like it when guys are around me... and all my answers we're "i can't".... in the end.... he said the last words that still haunts and keeps me up all night... "GOOD BYE"....

after he hang up the phone.... i was totally bursting out of tears... crying and crying and crying!!! i was so furious of myself!!! i couldn't believe that he's gone...

a few weeks later....

i found a friend... a guy.... he's name is ++++... i began having a crush on him... and soon developed feelings for him... he was the guy of my dreams... tall... sweet, smart, FUNNY, etc etc.... he was me and my friend's tuitor on accountancy... he's a accountancy sophamore.... he is totally all that!!! we became very colse and truly became friends...

time passed by... i thought that i've forgotten about ***.... but... i found out that i haven't... after our sembreak...

i realized that i missed him even more!!!

++++ found out about it...

i thought that he would be mad about it... but i found out that he was very understanding...

he didn't mind... he knew and understood my situation and feelings...

i was so touched about his courage and love....

i wish to just give him the love that i have for oli... but i just can't....

what should i do???

I still love ***... and i always see him around campus... i always remember our song and the times we have shared... i could never forget the way he looks into my eyes and say that he's serious about me... i misz the way he hold my right hand and kisses it... huhuhuhuhuhuh....

there are friends of mine who talks to him and tries to help us get back together...

one of my friends asked him why is he not talking to me... he simply told them that i was the one who's not talking to him...

what should i do???

my birthday is coming up...

i wish for him to come back and brighten up my life again...

i misz his love and imperfections...

"***.... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH... and i always will...."

xXx Deity Of Misery xXx

please send me messages and comments in my buzznet account or in my other web sites...

Dillan24's Journals

My HeArT StoPpEd BeAtiNg...